This project has been put on hold for the time being.
It will return eventually, just as soon as I've got the edit for the first book completed.
Friday
Wednesday
Yakashmite 30th 7648 S.F
Well, last day of the month… And I must say it’s most welcomed! Hopefully Stratlier will be a better month, because to be quite honest, this one has been rather dull.
It’s also Keela’s birthday in two days, and I must admit, I’m quite looking forward to it, I have my ball gown, I’ll have my hair all done nice and pretty and I cannot wait to enjoy the revelry.
I do wish Keela’s birthday would occur in the warmer months as she always has nice, extravagant parties, and to be able to enjoy them in the warm gardens would be nice, but I like the ball room also, even if it is a little grim.
The architecture is nice, as is the décor, it’s just so big and the candlelight makes things look a bit gloomy.
Still, it should be good fun!
I’m going to sleep now, so – Good night.
Ellie
It’s also Keela’s birthday in two days, and I must admit, I’m quite looking forward to it, I have my ball gown, I’ll have my hair all done nice and pretty and I cannot wait to enjoy the revelry.
I do wish Keela’s birthday would occur in the warmer months as she always has nice, extravagant parties, and to be able to enjoy them in the warm gardens would be nice, but I like the ball room also, even if it is a little grim.
The architecture is nice, as is the décor, it’s just so big and the candlelight makes things look a bit gloomy.
Still, it should be good fun!
I’m going to sleep now, so – Good night.
Ellie
Tuesday
Yakashmite 29th 7648 S.F
Unspoken thoughts lie around in my head
Unwritten words latch onto this heart of mine
Untethered feelings bring me down endlessly
Uninterrupted are the moments filled with thoughts of you
Undefined are the boundaries through which this mind travels
Unliked are the dark feelings and sadness that has occurred
Unplanned was the entire sudden episode which took place
Underestimated was the effort required to deal with these emotions
Uncried are tears, which have been blocked away with difficulty
Unpleasant are the mood swings and the misery this has brought
Unprepared I was, for what was building inside of me, for you
Underway is the voice within, a silent whisper with hope, wishing things could be different
Undecided is the step to take, to help myself out of this….
Unfinished are the streams of words, thoughts and feelings which are flowing freely at this moment…
--
My mind is in utter shambles today, I just can’t concentrate on anything!
Ella x
Unwritten words latch onto this heart of mine
Untethered feelings bring me down endlessly
Uninterrupted are the moments filled with thoughts of you
Undefined are the boundaries through which this mind travels
Unliked are the dark feelings and sadness that has occurred
Unplanned was the entire sudden episode which took place
Underestimated was the effort required to deal with these emotions
Uncried are tears, which have been blocked away with difficulty
Unpleasant are the mood swings and the misery this has brought
Unprepared I was, for what was building inside of me, for you
Underway is the voice within, a silent whisper with hope, wishing things could be different
Undecided is the step to take, to help myself out of this….
Unfinished are the streams of words, thoughts and feelings which are flowing freely at this moment…
--
My mind is in utter shambles today, I just can’t concentrate on anything!
Ella x
Monday
Yakashmite 28th 7648 S.F
It’s been raining all day.
The skies are grey with heavy clouds, the ground wet from the downpour.
Candles have lit my room all day as the gloom seeped inside and made itself at home.
Lightning fills up the sky nicely, and the thunderous roar that follows makes a nice change from the monotonous pat-pat-pat against the glass of my window.
Layanna visited today, she says she’s worried about me, that aside from meals she hardly ever sees me. Though she did say it with some snide and a crooked sneer, almost like I was doing wrong.
It didn’t stop her from sitting on my bed for three hours to rattle on about everything her mind can conjour.
I love my sisters, but sometimes I wish they’d learn to leave me alone. I’ve isolated myself for a reason.
My dress is coming along nicely though, I’ve marked out all the fabrics, but I want to make sure the measurements are just right before I cut them.
Must get back to work
Toodles
Ella XxXxX
The skies are grey with heavy clouds, the ground wet from the downpour.
Candles have lit my room all day as the gloom seeped inside and made itself at home.
Lightning fills up the sky nicely, and the thunderous roar that follows makes a nice change from the monotonous pat-pat-pat against the glass of my window.
Layanna visited today, she says she’s worried about me, that aside from meals she hardly ever sees me. Though she did say it with some snide and a crooked sneer, almost like I was doing wrong.
It didn’t stop her from sitting on my bed for three hours to rattle on about everything her mind can conjour.
I love my sisters, but sometimes I wish they’d learn to leave me alone. I’ve isolated myself for a reason.
My dress is coming along nicely though, I’ve marked out all the fabrics, but I want to make sure the measurements are just right before I cut them.
Must get back to work
Toodles
Ella XxXxX
Sunday
Yakashmite 27th 7648 S.F
I’ve decided to take up a new project to help me pass the time and stem some boredom. I’m going to MAKE my own dress!
It’s not like I don’t know how, Miss Brona, my old nanny taught my sisters and I how to sew and create basic clothes when we were younger, I know this is a gargantuan task compared to say, a hood, but I am honestly bored.
I’ve had the servants come and bring my materials and equipment to my chambers, it should hopefully keep me busy, plus I get to stare out of my window all day.
Brilliant!
Well, best get started.
Ella x
It’s not like I don’t know how, Miss Brona, my old nanny taught my sisters and I how to sew and create basic clothes when we were younger, I know this is a gargantuan task compared to say, a hood, but I am honestly bored.
I’ve had the servants come and bring my materials and equipment to my chambers, it should hopefully keep me busy, plus I get to stare out of my window all day.
Brilliant!
Well, best get started.
Ella x
Saturday
Yakashmite 26th 7648 S.F
Went “Riding” with my sisters today, It’s not as fun as it used to be when I was younger, but I think that's because we’re confined to the Kingdom, we’ve explored it all before, there’s nothing to see… I even think our unicorns got bored. I know Kita; my mount was definitely bored.
It’s not even the end of the first month of the year and already I’m bored with it! I just want some excitement!
I’m going to find something fun to do
Bye
Elloria
It’s not even the end of the first month of the year and already I’m bored with it! I just want some excitement!
I’m going to find something fun to do
Bye
Elloria
Friday
Yakashmite 25th 7648 S.F
Dreams are fading
Into a backwash
Of beautiful sad
And daring days.
A window into a hope
That surpasses
All beauty, but is
Bound up so tight.
Will we ever be set free?
Free to dream in colours
That we've never seen,
And dance with a joy
Beyond our understanding?
Is it just me or is my poetry skill improving just a smidge? I think I’m getting better, don’t you?
Ella XxX
Into a backwash
Of beautiful sad
And daring days.
A window into a hope
That surpasses
All beauty, but is
Bound up so tight.
Will we ever be set free?
Free to dream in colours
That we've never seen,
And dance with a joy
Beyond our understanding?
Is it just me or is my poetry skill improving just a smidge? I think I’m getting better, don’t you?
Ella XxX
Thursday
Yakashmite 24th 7648 S.F
I’ve done nothing all day but stare out of my window, even skipped dinner because I was too busy having fun with my imagination.
Oh what it must be like over there, I wonder if it’s as pretty or Dematria is, or maybe even prettier?
Either way, I am dying to see it, to just look upon its grandeur and its inhabitants. I just wonder how different things are, or similar for that matter.
Enough of my ravings, I’m going to bed.
Goodnight.
Elloria X
Oh what it must be like over there, I wonder if it’s as pretty or Dematria is, or maybe even prettier?
Either way, I am dying to see it, to just look upon its grandeur and its inhabitants. I just wonder how different things are, or similar for that matter.
Enough of my ravings, I’m going to bed.
Goodnight.
Elloria X
Wednesday
Yakashmite 23rd 7648 S.F
Well, I went down to the training grounds today… Sometimes I hate being both a princess AND a woman as I couldn’t find anybody to spar with who would test my limits. I did ask Keela, but she declined.
Overall though, it was still a good day. It was nice to hone my skills.
Its dinnertime soon so I’d best be off.
Elloria XxxX
Overall though, it was still a good day. It was nice to hone my skills.
Its dinnertime soon so I’d best be off.
Elloria XxxX
Tuesday
Yakashmite 22nd 7648 S.F
You know what I’ve just realised? My life is boring!
I have no friends (other than my sisters, but I see them less and less as the days on the calendar are marked off)
It seems all I have is this diary, and my window, which lets me see… Well, you know.
I just wish something more exciting would happen to me. I’m going to die bored and alone.
I might hit the training grounds tomorrow, that’s somewhat fun…
Elloria
I have no friends (other than my sisters, but I see them less and less as the days on the calendar are marked off)
It seems all I have is this diary, and my window, which lets me see… Well, you know.
I just wish something more exciting would happen to me. I’m going to die bored and alone.
I might hit the training grounds tomorrow, that’s somewhat fun…
Elloria
Monday
Yakashmite 21st 7648 S.F
Had an unwanted encounter with some stuck up so-and-so earlier. Lady D’viniya I believe it was.
The snootiest of the snooty, and her son, what a waste of space… Stupid mummies boy!
Anyway, I was looking for a new gown for my sisters’ upcoming birthday (I’d love to wear my awesome pink dress, but I do need something a bit more formal) and as I was browsing the fine wares I hear this woman’s voice from behind me, advising her son to try on whatever clothing. After much obligation on his part, she turns to me and asks my opinion; naturally I just looked at her, smiled and ip-dip-dooed (in my head, of course) an item of clothing (never even looked at her son, I don’t care if whatever does or doesn’t suit him, not my problem).
After she’d finished “thanking me” for my “input”, I went back to looking at gowns, not five minutes later she turns back around and looks at the gowns I’m perusing and starts saying “ooh, that’s nice, that’s nice too… Oh, you don’t want that, the frill doesn’t look right” and so on.
Lady, I don’t care for your input about MY clothes… But in the name of the gods, why can I not be allowed to choose my garments in peace? It was only the other week I was told I’d look like a streetwalker in my pink dress. But it’s nobodies business but mine as to what I do and do not wear. Why can’t people just leave me alone and let me shop in peace?
Maybe next time I’ll be luckier.
Ella Xx
The snootiest of the snooty, and her son, what a waste of space… Stupid mummies boy!
Anyway, I was looking for a new gown for my sisters’ upcoming birthday (I’d love to wear my awesome pink dress, but I do need something a bit more formal) and as I was browsing the fine wares I hear this woman’s voice from behind me, advising her son to try on whatever clothing. After much obligation on his part, she turns to me and asks my opinion; naturally I just looked at her, smiled and ip-dip-dooed (in my head, of course) an item of clothing (never even looked at her son, I don’t care if whatever does or doesn’t suit him, not my problem).
After she’d finished “thanking me” for my “input”, I went back to looking at gowns, not five minutes later she turns back around and looks at the gowns I’m perusing and starts saying “ooh, that’s nice, that’s nice too… Oh, you don’t want that, the frill doesn’t look right” and so on.
Lady, I don’t care for your input about MY clothes… But in the name of the gods, why can I not be allowed to choose my garments in peace? It was only the other week I was told I’d look like a streetwalker in my pink dress. But it’s nobodies business but mine as to what I do and do not wear. Why can’t people just leave me alone and let me shop in peace?
Maybe next time I’ll be luckier.
Ella Xx
Sunday
Yakashmite 20th 7648 S.F
Father invited my sisters and I to sit with him in a council meeting at the senate house.
I really don’t know why though, I have no interest in affairs of state, and Layanna will most likely be Queen after father goes as she is the oldest, so it would be more beneficial to her.
I just hope when she is Queen that she doesn’t have me accompany her. Those council meetings are so boring! Just a load of old men & women arguing amongst themselves… Even father looked bored.
It did come as quite a shock when he took over though, shouting at the top of his lungs for everyone to be quiet; they almost browned their pants. I think a few actually did.
But it was tedious though, but fortunately, those two long hours were the only tedium I had to endure.
After the council meeting had finished, father took my sisters and I to a bakery and got them to make us a special cake. It took a couple of hours to be ready (we spent the time sitting by the fountain, talking and occasionally splashing each other, even father joined in. It’s nice to see him smile. I do wish he’d cut his hair though)
Anyway, when the cake was almost ready, we went back and watched as the bakers decorated the cake in such artistic fashion. It was exquisite.
But, I think that at that time, father was missing his dear wife, for she used to work in a family run bakery (which is now a carpenters shop), and I think he wanted to reclaim some of the history he shared with my mother when he used to visit her while she worked.
He’s a strong man on the outside, loving, kind and caring… But on the inside, I think he’s still broken, like when my mother died, a part of him died with her. I see him sometimes just looking out to sea with tears in his eyes. He totally denies it of course, says that the salty air is irritating them, but I know better.
I just can’t imagine what it would be like to have the one person you loved most in the world, snatched from you. I don’t think it makes it any better that I’m apparently her double (aside from the hair colour) it must be tough for him if every time he looks at me, he sees his darling wife.
I love you daddy.
Ellie XxxX
I really don’t know why though, I have no interest in affairs of state, and Layanna will most likely be Queen after father goes as she is the oldest, so it would be more beneficial to her.
I just hope when she is Queen that she doesn’t have me accompany her. Those council meetings are so boring! Just a load of old men & women arguing amongst themselves… Even father looked bored.
It did come as quite a shock when he took over though, shouting at the top of his lungs for everyone to be quiet; they almost browned their pants. I think a few actually did.
But it was tedious though, but fortunately, those two long hours were the only tedium I had to endure.
After the council meeting had finished, father took my sisters and I to a bakery and got them to make us a special cake. It took a couple of hours to be ready (we spent the time sitting by the fountain, talking and occasionally splashing each other, even father joined in. It’s nice to see him smile. I do wish he’d cut his hair though)
Anyway, when the cake was almost ready, we went back and watched as the bakers decorated the cake in such artistic fashion. It was exquisite.
But, I think that at that time, father was missing his dear wife, for she used to work in a family run bakery (which is now a carpenters shop), and I think he wanted to reclaim some of the history he shared with my mother when he used to visit her while she worked.
He’s a strong man on the outside, loving, kind and caring… But on the inside, I think he’s still broken, like when my mother died, a part of him died with her. I see him sometimes just looking out to sea with tears in his eyes. He totally denies it of course, says that the salty air is irritating them, but I know better.
I just can’t imagine what it would be like to have the one person you loved most in the world, snatched from you. I don’t think it makes it any better that I’m apparently her double (aside from the hair colour) it must be tough for him if every time he looks at me, he sees his darling wife.
I love you daddy.
Ellie XxxX
Saturday
Yakashmite 19th 7648 S.F
You want to know what I did today? Nothing! Absolutely nothing, and it was brilliant.
Aside from eating my meals, I’ve spent the entire day in my chambers just staring out beyond the forest to the human kingdom beyond, mystified by its allure.
I know I talk about it quite a lot, but I do hope I can one day see it up close with my own two eyes.
In the very distance I can see something that I can only assume is a steeple, and when the sun eventually set, the light bounced off of the top and bathed it in an otherworldly glow. It was quite the sight.
Anyway, I’m tired so I’m going to retire for the night.
Love
Ella X
Aside from eating my meals, I’ve spent the entire day in my chambers just staring out beyond the forest to the human kingdom beyond, mystified by its allure.
I know I talk about it quite a lot, but I do hope I can one day see it up close with my own two eyes.
In the very distance I can see something that I can only assume is a steeple, and when the sun eventually set, the light bounced off of the top and bathed it in an otherworldly glow. It was quite the sight.
Anyway, I’m tired so I’m going to retire for the night.
Love
Ella X
Friday
Yakashmite 18th 7648 S.F
I’ve had a read back of my diary so far, and I’ve noticed a bit of a pattern emerging within it.
I talk a lot of seeking adventure; and not just visiting the human kingdom - but about lots of things. Am I really that bored with my life? Why do I want to risk my life?
I’ve both read and heard tales of adventurers, though history has blurred the lines between reality and fantasy somewhat so it is admittedly hard to decipher what is real and what isn’t.
But these tales are filled with quite a lot of danger. Often I do find myself thinking about these stories, and some of the predicaments the heroes find themselves in are… Well, it just wouldn’t happen.
And why is it that there are no heroines within these stories? I’ve noticed women tend to be used as love interests mainly… And the illustrations are so sexist. They tend to depict the women (who normally tend to be tribal warrior women or the like) as dainty women with long flowing hair, a huge sword, large breasts and barely anything covering her flesh. A small brazier and a loincloth usually.
As a warrior princess, I can say that it’s far from wrong! I have my own battledress; my body, whilst not muscular is well toned. I know to tie my hair back before battle and also know that a perfectly balanced sword is better than a hulking great piece of steel.
You’d never catch me going into battle with a claymore sword, loose hair and no armour! Not unless I was forced to by lack of choice… But that’s unlikely!
These “warrior women” in the stories disgust me; I’d like to see a more realistic depiction of a female warrior in a fantasy novel some time. But I highly doubt I’ll see the day it happens.
I just might have to write one myself. I can base the character on me, give it a dull title like “Faerie-Tale” and make the story about my crossing the forest to the human kingdom.
No, all joking aside and back to my original point. Why do I have such a thirst for adventure?
I’ll have to ponder this question and get back to you.
Elloria
XxxxxxX
I talk a lot of seeking adventure; and not just visiting the human kingdom - but about lots of things. Am I really that bored with my life? Why do I want to risk my life?
I’ve both read and heard tales of adventurers, though history has blurred the lines between reality and fantasy somewhat so it is admittedly hard to decipher what is real and what isn’t.
But these tales are filled with quite a lot of danger. Often I do find myself thinking about these stories, and some of the predicaments the heroes find themselves in are… Well, it just wouldn’t happen.
And why is it that there are no heroines within these stories? I’ve noticed women tend to be used as love interests mainly… And the illustrations are so sexist. They tend to depict the women (who normally tend to be tribal warrior women or the like) as dainty women with long flowing hair, a huge sword, large breasts and barely anything covering her flesh. A small brazier and a loincloth usually.
As a warrior princess, I can say that it’s far from wrong! I have my own battledress; my body, whilst not muscular is well toned. I know to tie my hair back before battle and also know that a perfectly balanced sword is better than a hulking great piece of steel.
You’d never catch me going into battle with a claymore sword, loose hair and no armour! Not unless I was forced to by lack of choice… But that’s unlikely!
These “warrior women” in the stories disgust me; I’d like to see a more realistic depiction of a female warrior in a fantasy novel some time. But I highly doubt I’ll see the day it happens.
I just might have to write one myself. I can base the character on me, give it a dull title like “Faerie-Tale” and make the story about my crossing the forest to the human kingdom.
No, all joking aside and back to my original point. Why do I have such a thirst for adventure?
I’ll have to ponder this question and get back to you.
Elloria
XxxxxxX
Thursday
Yakashmite 17th 7648 S.F
I can't be bothered today... I really can't.
It's not that I just feel lethargic or anything, just that I really can't think of anything worth doing.
Other than look out at that magical kingdom beyond the forest...
… To dream the dreams I dare not speak.
Ella x
It's not that I just feel lethargic or anything, just that I really can't think of anything worth doing.
Other than look out at that magical kingdom beyond the forest...
… To dream the dreams I dare not speak.
Ella x
Wednesday
Yakashmite 16th 7648 S.F
By the gods, some people can be so vexatious!
You remember a few days ago when I told you about that woman who said my pretty new dress was beneath me (to put it nicely)
Well I saw her again whilst with my sisters.
She just walks up to me, out of nowhere and says "Glad to see you're dressing like royalty and not like street trash" obviously in reference to the dress I bought.
Ugh, I swear, I really wanted to garrotte her! How dare she talk to me in such a manner? Me, a Dematri’aan princess.
And people wonder why I hate the rich.
Ugh, I’m going to have a lie down, I still can’t believe that arrogant bitch
Talk to you soon
Love Elloria
XxxxxXxxxxX
You remember a few days ago when I told you about that woman who said my pretty new dress was beneath me (to put it nicely)
Well I saw her again whilst with my sisters.
She just walks up to me, out of nowhere and says "Glad to see you're dressing like royalty and not like street trash" obviously in reference to the dress I bought.
Ugh, I swear, I really wanted to garrotte her! How dare she talk to me in such a manner? Me, a Dematri’aan princess.
And people wonder why I hate the rich.
Ugh, I’m going to have a lie down, I still can’t believe that arrogant bitch
Talk to you soon
Love Elloria
XxxxxXxxxxX
Tuesday
Yakashmite 15th 7648 S.F
Oh how I long to visit that 'world' beyond the forest.
It just captivates me in a way I can't even begin to comprehend, but I'll never get there.
For one, as you already know, it's forbidden.
Two, well that forest is HUGE! I'll never be able to cross that! It'll take me over a week; I just can't go that long without food.
Though who knows? Some day I just might get there... When one of my sisters becomes queen they may make amends with the king or queen (or both) and re-build the relationship between the humans and the enchants.
But that's such a long time away; I'll be... What? Forty? If that young… maybe even fifty.
Oh well, I'll just have to keep dreaming.
Got to go, Dinners ready
Love Ellie
XxxxxX
It just captivates me in a way I can't even begin to comprehend, but I'll never get there.
For one, as you already know, it's forbidden.
Two, well that forest is HUGE! I'll never be able to cross that! It'll take me over a week; I just can't go that long without food.
Though who knows? Some day I just might get there... When one of my sisters becomes queen they may make amends with the king or queen (or both) and re-build the relationship between the humans and the enchants.
But that's such a long time away; I'll be... What? Forty? If that young… maybe even fifty.
Oh well, I'll just have to keep dreaming.
Got to go, Dinners ready
Love Ellie
XxxxxX
Monday
Yakashmite 14th 7648 S.F
Just a mild headache today, nothing major. It's brilliant.
I feel like me again!!
Oh you can't understand how it feels to not feel ill anymore!
Today I again stayed at home, but it was good, I just lazed about, it was bliss.
My sisters did join me at one point and it was so fun, just lounging around, talking about how much things have changed since we were little, and even the antics we used to get up to as little fae.
I again spoke with my sisters of my ever growing 'obsession' with the human kingdom beyond the forest and they just looked at me like I was nuts, especially Layanna, I don't think she approves of my growing interest at all.
Ah well, stuff her… it's my life.
Talk soon.
Ella
XxX
I feel like me again!!
Oh you can't understand how it feels to not feel ill anymore!
Today I again stayed at home, but it was good, I just lazed about, it was bliss.
My sisters did join me at one point and it was so fun, just lounging around, talking about how much things have changed since we were little, and even the antics we used to get up to as little fae.
I again spoke with my sisters of my ever growing 'obsession' with the human kingdom beyond the forest and they just looked at me like I was nuts, especially Layanna, I don't think she approves of my growing interest at all.
Ah well, stuff her… it's my life.
Talk soon.
Ella
XxX
Sunday
Yakashmite 13th 7648 S.F
I woke up today to quite a surprise. All the snow had melted. Near enough
My dear forest is back to its vibrant green colour, it's quite refreshing. I just wish those looming grey clouds would vanish
I also feel a lot better. Still have a bit of a tickle in my throat, but it's an improvement I guess.
We'll have to see what happens. Hopefully though I'm over the worst of it now.
Other than that, there's not much to write about. I've pretty much spent all day just lazing about the palace.
Quite dull really, but with the way I feel, dull is what I need.
See you later
Love Elloria
My dear forest is back to its vibrant green colour, it's quite refreshing. I just wish those looming grey clouds would vanish
I also feel a lot better. Still have a bit of a tickle in my throat, but it's an improvement I guess.
We'll have to see what happens. Hopefully though I'm over the worst of it now.
Other than that, there's not much to write about. I've pretty much spent all day just lazing about the palace.
Quite dull really, but with the way I feel, dull is what I need.
See you later
Love Elloria
Saturday
Yakashmite 12th 7648 S.F
Still not feeling all too well today. In fact, I feel that I’m getting worse. Last night was pretty bad; I thought I was going to die.
But upon reflection, maybe that isn’t such a bad thing after all; there is peace and tranquillity in death.
When I was a little girl, I used to think that after I died, the world would end because I couldn't comprehend the idea of the world existing without me.
Silly, huh?
Anyway, I’m tired and going back to sleep.
Ellie x
But upon reflection, maybe that isn’t such a bad thing after all; there is peace and tranquillity in death.
When I was a little girl, I used to think that after I died, the world would end because I couldn't comprehend the idea of the world existing without me.
Silly, huh?
Anyway, I’m tired and going back to sleep.
Ellie x
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